Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello hello!
So it's Canadian Thanksgiving Monday and I have the day off from school, which is really good. It was supposed to be somewhat productive at least but I can't seem to focus and do any of my work. I am such a procrastinator, I really suck.
Um school's been pretty okay, I guess. Schoolwork is piling up and the stress of being Grade 12's is definitely creeping in. I've been having some problems with my friends over the past months. And I'm going to be honest, it's been driving me completely crazy. I really don't understand why this is all happening. I can't help but to feel so tired about it. I mean, we've got to be more mature by now and having problems like these is just stupid, really. I don't know, I'm at this point where I don't really care about friends, all I need is to get that high school diploma and I'm done with high school. I don't know, I'm just really tired about it right now.
Oh and there's university applications going on. The earlier I apply, the better chances I have to actually get in. There are scholarships, too. I have to look up the scholarships and then apply for them. There's so much work to do and U'm really really overwhelmed by it. Honestly, I don't know what to do about them.
Anyways, there's a lot going on at the moment. I'm really lost, and I wish so much to get some sort of help. With anything, really, just anything. I have to go now. So I'll update again when I have some time.
:)

Tired.

Hii :)
I'm in math class now but I just felt the need to blog. I'm not a bad student, it's not like I'm not paying attention since most of everyone else is still writing their quiz.
I've just been having a really rough week. I've had about 3 tests already, and I have a quiz for Bio next block and 2 more exams tomorrow. Let's not forget ChoralFest.
Anyways, things haven't really been the same for me. Maybe it's just me.. But i feel like I'm having problems talking to some of my friends. Again, I feel like a stupid outsider, and I'm seriously so sick and tired of it. I'm tired of being the only one who doesn't know what the others are talking about and just being left out.
They told me that things would change, and that was like, so long ago. Things did change for a while, at least, but then I got used to being kind of left out again. It's been some time and I'm just getting really tired of it. Not being able to understand a single thing people are saying because all of them are speaking a different language, and the fact that I'm pretty much the only one makes it so much worse. I just think it's so ridiculous that this is the problem. Again.
I'm tired of dealing with this. I'm done.
I just want to feel like I belong. Is that too much to ask for?

Hello there! 

Had the sudden urge to blog today so here I am. 

School's been back in session for about a month now, and it's been pretty okay. I've just been slacking off way too often, and it's becoming a really bad habit. Anyways, I've been pretty busy, going to school, sometimes at 7.30am for Choral and Leadership, and working on weekends. Yeah, I got a job at Shoppers, it's pretty cool there so I'm happy. You know what keeps happening, I keep forgetting to do my homework over the weekend. Seriously, I've done this about every weekend, for a whole month and I'm still not getting the hang of it. I just know that the same thing is going to happen this weekend, even though it's a long weekend. I've also been spending a lot lately. Just today, I've spent $35, buying two storybooks and a scarf. I try to keep in mind that I want to save up for my trip in December, but it doesn't seem to be working. Even keeping track of my spending don't make me feel the need to stop spending.

Oh and I guess I forgot to mention that I'm going back to Malaysia for a month-long vacation, hehe. I'm really excited about that. I get to meet up with my friends, and I guess we could hang out and stuff. I'm just hoping that it isn't going to be awkward by then.. We seldom talk nowadays, everyone's just busy with their lives I guess, and the time difference makes things like ten times more difficult. I roughly know what's going on over there, they're all preparing for SPM and I understand that it's a really important thing. But they have no clue at all as to what I'm doing over here, and I honestly don't know how that makes me feel. I miss them. A lot. But it doesn't seem like they miss me at all. I get it, they're busy with their studies, their love life, whatever activities they're in and that's a lot. But, would it hurt if thought a little of their friend? Is that asking for too much? Because, honestly, I'm sick and fed up of always having to be the one who asks and persuades people to talk to me, and getting rejected time after time after time. A little effort is all I'm asking for, and yet it seems so difficult and so frustrating. Sigh. I have friends here, but it's just different. I'm not saying that my friends here suck or whatever, not at all. They're amazing and I have tons of fun with them. There's just something that's missing, the connection I have with them is different than the ones they have among themselves. I'm not going to lie, but i feel pretty left out most of the time. I mean, I guess I kind of got used to it, but certain days it just really brings me down. Why can't there be another group of girls who are like them in Canada? Things would be so much better...

I'm ranting a lot this time, huh?

Anyways, have a good day or a good night, whatever the time it is at your place, haha! :)

Oh. And HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 

Summer 2013

Hey there! :)
So.. I've been having my summer holidays for about a month now and it's been awesome! Daddy came over for three weeks and I guess, it just reminds me of how much I miss having him being around with us... It was really nice having him around and I think it's great that we feel as if he was never away for so long. Sadly, daddy went back to Malaysia already yesterday, and even though it hasn't even been a day yet, I feel like there's something missing and it kind of sucks, but I guess it's going to be okay again.
 
Anyways, summer has been really great, just relaxing and wasting time, hahaha.
I want to get a job, but even though I've applied to so many places. I've been, not a single place wants to hire me :( so I've been reading, watching TV, playing games on the iPad pretty much all the time.
 
These are some of my highlights of my summer so far... :)
 
July 26th 2013 - Taylor Swift The RED Tour
The concert was AMAZING!! Taylor Swift was beautifully awesome and Ed Sheeran was great! ♡ I really, really, really, really, really loved it! And believe it or not, I saw Ed Sheeran like 500 metres away from me!! ♡ Anyways, had an awesome time at the concert! :D ♡

 


 

 

 

 

 

                                                                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
June 30th - July 19th 2013
Spending time with family ♡

Camwhoring time!

 

Daddy and I ♡

 

 

 

Sisters! ♡

 

 

 

 

:) #family

 That's pretty much it for now.. I'll be back to update soon! :)

 

 

 

Wowww. It really seems like forever since I last updated my blog, it's so dead.. Well, there's only me to blame, huh? :P

So yeah, so many things happened recently, especially school. Just three weeks ago, it was like 'The Week of Choral'. Haha the singing I had for that week was definitely more than enough for at least a month. It was Choralfest and there was the Night of Music performance. All during the same week! Different songs for different occasions and lots of rehearsals... It was really fun though, getting to know some of my friends better and there's the experience. There was the open house too and I had to help out for Tech. So yeah that week was pretty crazy but it was amazing.. :)

Then two weeks ago, our school had The Scona Oscars! It was really cool. Almost everyone at school dressed up and I did too :P I had lots of fun with my friends and yeah, it was great! That wasn't even the highlight of the week.. The Leadership retreat -- Get Your LEAD On was on Saturday and it was incredible! It was so fun and amazing and I got to meet more people so that was AWESOME! The whole thing was just unforgettable! :D

Last week was pretty boring, actually.. The only exciting thing was registration. I had lots of problem choosing which courses I want, especially the options. And that was because i had a lot of options this year and I couldn't really decide which one I should drop.. I wanted to continue taking Technical Theatre, but my mom said I shouldn't because I've got a pretty heavy load of courses. So yeah, I decided on Choral and Foods. But then, the Leadership retreat made me think twice about taking Leadership.. From the beginning, I didn't want to continue with Leadership but the retreat was just so cool, it kinda changed my mind. And that really drove me nuts because I couldn't make up my mind until the day for regisration. I decided to take it after all :P

So yeah, this week is Spring Break :D but it's Thursday already and I haven't even done anything yet.. :/ I planned to do so many things but na-da. I think the only useful thing I've done is getting a haircut and getting some application forms for getting a job somewhere. Other than that there's literally nothing.. :/ All I've done is watch a whole bunch of movies :P

 

So talking about movies, I was just watching Taylor Swift's Journey to Fearless :) It's just super cool, going on tour for 15 months around the world. She's doing what she loves and people from like everywhere loves her for doing that and she earns a living doing that. I mean, how could that not be great? Watching this just made me totally psyched for going to her concert in June! :D The set for her concert is so cool, I just can't wait to go to her concert!! :D But in a way, watching this kinda made me a little sad.. Knowing I won't ever get to perform like her, to have people going crazy over the music you make, to perform on a stage like that. Yeah, it kinda gets to me.. :/

I've started to really enjoy doing performances and I just feel like why didn't I like it this much before.. I see it from a really different perspective right now than compared to about a year ago. I see how fun and enjoyable and I actually understand that you don't get to perform all the time. So when there's an opportunity to perform now, I really would just kinda take it without a second thought. I've really learned to love performing...

 

So yeah, it's pretty late now and I should go to bed.. Goodnight! :)

It's October already!

i love this picture haha :P

First month of school. Time really flies, huh? It's almost 3 months since I've been here...

I survived. That's all that I can say. School's pretty cool, I guess. It's just that I still don't really have friends :/ There are classes where I'm like a loner :( Friends here are just.. I don't know. It's different, not to mean that they're not nice or anything. But things are just not the same...

But I'm happy, really. It's a dream come true and a lifetime oppurtunity to come here. I'm not even struggling in class. It's okay :)

So Technical Theatre is like my favourite class. There aren't many girls in the class, but I know them all :D And the class is so fun. Just last weekend, we had Tech Retreat. It was really enjoyable.. :) I just love this class.. ♥

Worst class - Physical Education. It's like so extreme here. You run, run, run and run D: and I'm always the last :/ I can't even tell you how much I hate it! Luckily I'm only taking for a semester.. :P

There's lots of free time although there's school. I study everyday and even get to watch tv every night. I even have the time to read books. See how free I am :P

Anyway, I'm gonna go watch tv now :P byeee :)

Hmmmm.. so school's starting tomorrow. I'm excited, i guess. Starting to get a little worried and scared now.. :/ I mean, what if I don't get any friends, or people don't like me? I dont' know... I was like really really excited 2 days ago, but now not so :/

Anyway, I hope everything goes well tomorrow.. Wish me luck! :)

It's been a month already. Still can't really believe it... Haven't been doing anything, literally. Just lazing around for the whole month. Not even registered in school yet :/

So yeah, really excited to go to school. Everything here is just so different. Kinda miss my friends :/ They're so lucky, being able to see each other almost all the time :/ I wish i could too :(

Nothing much to blog about, just thought it might fill up some of my time :)

Will blog again when i get to school, i guess.. :)

Unbelievably!

It's been a real long time since I updated my blog. Well, I've been really busy packing so yeah. Not much time.. :/ I'm at Canada now! It's been about 2 weeks since I've been here. But I still can't really believe it :P Haha. It's pretty nice here. Life's different, especially the weather. It's quite cold even though it's summer. Can't imagine the cold during winter.. :/ My uncle and aunt's really nice. They've got us a lot of stuff.. :D
That's pretty much about it for now. Don't really have much to blog about, but just had the feeling to blog. :P
Ciao. :)

The Best Night I Ever Had

haha the crazy people i love most.. <3

Joe Brooks - My Heart Will Wait

9th of June - the best day I had, i would say. My girlfriends had an awesome farewell party for me. It was plain awesome. And i would never forget it, well at least i hope not :P

We had dinner at Full House :D it's a really nice place and i really had lots of fun. Lots of people came even Qian Xuan. It's been like super long since i met her. Thank you Caryl, for inviting her. :D

me and Qian Xuan :D

It was really really memorable. And it really makes me sad for leaving. Leaving my friends :(
Well, life still goes on.. But one thing that i'm really sure of is that i'll remember everyone here. I'll keep all of you in my heart ;)

I just love you girls <3

And of course, I just can't not mention you, Zhiwei. I'm glad, really glad for all the times we spent together, it's not really long and definitely not enough for me. Thank you for all the memories.. :)

I love you... <3

 my heart's gonna wait for you, always <3

Wow, time really flies. It's gonna be June soon.. :( I have to start packing and everything. Even the thought of it makes me want to not leave..
Lots of things happened in the last month. Really awesome things, i woud say. It's a little too much to list out though so yeah :)
Sigh.. i wish that i could just stop time right now.. :(

I miss you like crazy now. I really wish that you'd be here right beside me.. :)

Sigh.. I'm definitely not the happiest person now. I'm just really disappointed and stuff like that. I feel like I'm not a really good friend. I don't even know if it's my fault. :/
You know, I feel that I'm actually becoming further and further from them. It kinda feels like a hardly know them anymore... I haven't even left, you know? If it's already happening now, then what would it be like when i really leave?? It's really, really bothering...
ARGHHH!!! :/

I finished Mischevious Kiss last night. It's super sweet... <3
Can't believe how much i actually like Kim Hyun Joong now... heh.

You know, watching all the girls in the dramas get their happy ending no matter what just really gets you, don't you think so?? They always seem to get their happily ever after when it's so difficult in reality. Ok, maybe not difficult but it seems like it needs a miracle. A real big miracle, in fact.
Anyway, I just love to watch happy endings, makes you so sweeten up. :P
I hope that i'd get my happy ending one day. An ending as sweet as this one. ;)

I'm superr crazy about Mischevious Kiss now. Hehe :P
I get so excited about whats going on in the drama. I've never been like this before. It's like I'm going nuts because of this drama. haha.. ;)
You know, I've actually learnt alot from this drama. Sounds weird, right? Like since when dramas ever teach you anything at all. I mean, I've learnt lots of stuff especially about feelings, relationships, love and well, lots more...

It takes a miracle for two people to fall for each other at the same time...

So exams just finished today. Yay! :D and it's holidays already.. It's like the greatest thing.

Hmmm, i have lots of stuff in mind that i wanna do during the holidays. A little too mich to be finished in a week. :P watch korean dramas, read, go out, make some stuff... It's quite a lot, acually.

Nothing much to blog about nowadays. Don't know why...

Happy holidays anyway!! :D

Hmmm.. It's been a real long time since i last updated my blog. Still can't cope with form 4 life. Sigh, with everything else it;s even worse. Seriously, I've been driving myself up the wall since, well, quite recently. It's really hard to tell...

So yeah, tomorrow's Valentine's Day. But so what? It's just like any other ordinary day. Hehe. But, of course, I do hope that this year's Valentine's would be a little more special than the rest... :)

Happy Valentine's Day... ♥

Holidays again! Yess! Chinese New Year = good food + angpow. hehe.. :P

I'm going back to penang and alor setar this sunday to celebrate. Can't wait! Gonna be my last CNY here. Next year's CNY wouldn't be celebrated here anymore. Awwh.. :(

Happy Chinese New Year!! :D

Joe Brooks -- Holes Inside


I've been pretty busy these few days. Though I don't know what I'm busy about..

Stuff@School.. It's actually really stressful, especially when you have a deadline so close and you are not ready at all. But ayhow, I think I'll most probably discontinue doing it. I mean, I'm going to migrate and if I leave then other people would have to take after my stuff. So it's not really responsible to do that. So I figured that I should just stop. I'm not sure though.. I'm really indecisive nowadays.

Then there's the keceriaan thingy at class. Teacher's kinda pressuring me, saying that my ideas are not good enough and that i should work harder. I mean, she's not doing it but she makes it as if it's the easiest thing to do. But I don't exactly bother what she says...

School's pretty tough. I want my Form 3 life back again. Why can't Fom 4 be easier?! Plus, I don't really like my class.. :/

Hmmm... feelings are kinda messed up these few days, especially since school started. I guess it has something to do with the migrating thingy. I don't know... I'm happy and sad about it. Happy that I actually get to go. I mean, it's always been my dream to be like my mom and study abroad over there. Now, my dreams are actually coming true. But I'm also kinda upset. I gotta leave everything here and start over there. So yeah, I think you get my meaning... :)

Cause sometimes fate and your dreams will collide...

First week of school. Hmmm... I'm in a different class, not with Caryl. Awwh, I so wanted to be in the same class with her since it would be my last half a year to spend with her...

Life's really different compared to form 3. The teachers expect you to understand and remember everything once they thought you. I really really miss form 3 life. So I've been studying at least a bit everyday. So much for thinking that form 3 life is much worse than form 4... :/

So yeah. I've got lotsa stuff on my hands right now. I'm the AJK Keceriaan in class. Teacher just complained saying that i suck. :/ Plus I have to get 30 subscribers for Stuff@School by 20 January. I've only got what? 9 days left and i got no subscribers at all. Sighh...

Last few months here. I'm sure that I'm seriously gonna miss it. When you hear people say 6 months, you'd think that it's still a long time. But in reality it's not that long, in fact it passes by real fast. So yeah.. I'm really gonna miss you girls... :)

Remembering those moments when we were together just makes me smile...

Happy New Year, everybody!! It's 2012 aleady! :D

So I celebrated my New Year's Eve with my besties -- Caryl, Yenni and Meiting. It was too bad that Qianyi couldn't join us..

We had lots of fun. My mom prepared a really yummy meal for us. We played Pictionary, watched Encahnted. It sounds just ordinary but we had lots of fun in the process...

We went outside to watch the fireworks. But we couldn't see anything. Only then we found out that my parents room window could see everything. You should've seen the way we rushed there. haha..

We stayed up and talked and talked and talked. I slept first, around 2am. The three of them only slept at 4am. I just knew that they would take pictures of me sleeping.. haiz..

But all in all, I really had lots of fun. I would remember this New Years. It truly was memorable...

Girls, thanks for giving me such great memories. I love you girls!! ♥

Today's New Year's Eve already... My besties are coming over to celebrate together. Awesome!! :D

So 2012 is coming already. I donn't know what to think about it. So yeah. I'll just take in whatever that comes to me in the next year. Because I know that no matter how bad things might turn out to be, I am going to endure and survive it. I know it because I wanna show the world that I'm strong. I will climb back on my feet no matter how bad I've fell.


I finished watching Secret Garden last night. Both of them are like superr sweet... I hope a guy would love me like that too. hehe... ♥

Happy New Year's Eve!! :)

Wow.. Time really flies. School is starting next week already. I wonder if my brain still works? I doubt it, I haven't been using it for a really long time..

Hmmm.. I wonder what class I'm gonna be in and who are gonna be my classmates. I really hope that next year's gonna be as great as this year.. Although I'm only studying for a pretty short period of time, I still wanna enjoy.. heh..

School -- I am looking forward to seeing you again, but I am also not at the same time. Well, I do dread seeing you a little. Because seeing you would mean that it's the end of my holidays.. :/

Lots of people say that Form 4 is really tough and stuff like that. Yet I'm still kinda looking forward to it. Don't know why...

Anyhow, I am looking forward to you, 2012!! Whatever you have for me, bring it on!

Just In Thoughts...

Hmmm.. So I've been thinking about what I wanna be next time. This is the result of boredom. Haha. I was back at Alor Setar to visit my grandpa who's currently in hospital. I hope that he's ok today... :)

Well, my grandpa's in ICU, so we can't go in to see him all the time. My parents would usually be in the hospital for the whole day. My sisters and I would normally be in my grandpa's house with the maid. So I was watching Personal Taste. And I was thinking... Since I love to watch all kinds of shows, it would be kinda cool if I could have something of mine being seen all aroumd the world. I could write a script and have it become a show or whatever. And maybe really famous people could act in it. Well, it's really cool. And you just can't deny that, right? But there's just this problem. I gotta come up with this really awesome story. So yeah. My bubble just burst, cause there's definitely no way I can come up with that. 

Sigh... I really have no idea what i want. I'm not even sure what I like. So I'm just this lost little person in the middle of nowhere, literally. My parents would always ask me what I wanna become and i just answer with "I don't know". I'm just sick and tired of answering that all the time. So I've been seriously thinking...

Ermm.. What about being a singer? Well, that would be pretty cool, too. But I'm not real performing material. I get super nervous when I need to perform. And I've done solo like only once. An actress? I've never done acting before. Not even small, tiny little parts. So there it goes again... :/

Sometimes I really wonder, why am I borned here? I know that everyone is here to be somebody. But I just can't figure out who I'm supposed to be... Gosh. Somebody help me!!!

Everything happens for a reason...

As You Like It... ♥



The title of my last production and performance as a part of the Kuala Lumpur Children's Choir. Just this afternoon, I was still a part of the choir. Although we haven't got our certificate, I still feel a little sad knowing that I'm finally graduating. Being in the choir since 4 years ago, I have learnt many things, made many friends. It was truly an amazing experience while being in the choir.

This year, the teachers have decided that 12 of us from the choir were going to graduate. Just last month, we were busy preparing for our very own recital -- A Dozen Voices. It was another magnificent experience and a wonderful memory. The bond between all of us grew even stronger. We would continue on with our own chamber choir. I think that it would be great. :)

Now, off we go, up to a higher level! :D

2PM Hands Up Asia Tour in Malaysia 2011 ♥

The night of 25th of November 2011 was truly an unforgettable night.. Going to the stadium at 5.30pm while the concert only started at 8.30pm. And going with my dad was an even more special experience, although i really wanted my cousin to go with me instead.

I really loved the concert. As i watched the 6 of them on stage, i was always in a daze, still unable to believe that i was actually at the concert. Mesmerized by their dance steps, i didn't even take an eye off them. The first part of the concert was all the songs from their new album -- Hands Up. I didn't really know the songs as i wasn't familiar with that album. I really enjoyed myself during the second part of the concert, where they performed all their hit songs. It was really nice...

It was so awesome. I don't even know how to describe the concert or even how I felt. All I know is that I loved the concert and, of course 2PM!! ♥

Yay! Tonight's the concert already!! I guess time really flies... I'm really, really excited. The excitement is too hard to express. It's like my heart has a pair of wings. I feel like I'm floating in mid-air. That is how excited I am. I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating. Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a bit. But I'm just so excited that I can't even control myself. haha.. :D

Wheee!! Tomorrow's the 2PM Hands Up Concert! I'm really, really excited. I can't wait till it's tomorrow night... I'm going to see 2PM!! Wheee!! :D

3 more days till 2PM Hands Up Concert!! I'm superrr excited. I can't wait to go, but i also don't want it to be over so quickly. I know, it sounds really weird. But yeah, that's exactly how i feel.

Can you believe it? Daddy's actually going to the concert with me. My cousin was supposed to go with me. But she had to go Paris last-minute. So yeah, its pretty awkward. But whatever, at least i still get to go, right?

Nothing much to blog about these few days. It's been really boring. All i do at home is laze around... This  makes me kinda miss going to school. I miss talking to my friends and everything. I can't wait till Yenni comes over tomorrow. We're gonna do some guitar thing.

Talking about guitars... Daddy got me an acoustic guitar on saturday. Yay! So i'm having my guitar lesson later in the evening. Can't wait! :D

Gosh, it's really boring these few days. Though I'm spending lots of hours on the computer to finish my work. I kinda have a job now, doing data entry. Heh. It's really tiring... :/

I just sent in my article for Starstruck! this morning. But it states on the newspaper 'before Novemeber 15'... i hope they'd still pick me. Anyway, even if they don't pick me, i'm fine with it. I just want to get the experience. :)

So, now i'm thinking if i should tell them about it. I know it's still months, but they were really curious. I don't know. But yeah, still in the process of thinking...

my sweet fifteen... <3

11th of November 2011 (11.11.11) -- another awesome day, i would say. My friends and my mom actually worked together to give a surprise for my birthday. And i didnt even suspected anything. I was blur! Again! Somehow i'm always blur when people give me surprises. haha. :P

I had 3 birthday celebrations. Gosh. This really makes me wonder how can i not be the luckiest girl in the world?? I have friends who gave me 2 birthday surprises in just 3 days. And this just makes me love them even more. Well, how could you not love best friends like them?! :D

I've also had the greatest birthday presents... My dad got me an Elle watch. My cousin got me a 2PM concert ticket. My classmates gave me a surprise on the class party (not only me actually...). My best friends gave me another surprise and a very expensive present.

Seriously, I am the luckiest girl i know. To have a loving family like what i have at home, is really all  could ever ask for. And friends like Caryl, Yenni, Qianyi and Meiting, made my life full of colours. I'm really glad that i got to know them and that they are my best-est friends.

My life may not be the perfect one. But i love it just the way it is. It's special in every way... <3

Caryl, Yenni, Qian, Mei -- I have no idea how my life is gonna be without you girls. I'm so gona miss you girls... Love you lots and lots and lots!! <3


I was enchanted to meet you...

3 Belian... <3

9th of November -- one day i would never forget.  The day of the 3 Belian class party. It was awesome, that is all i can say about it. The whole thing just makes me speechless. It was just that great that i have no idea what to say about it. This is how awesome Belianites are... :)

I remember how i disliked 3 Belian at the starting of the year. At that time, i always wished that i could be in 3 Angsana instead, being with my other best friends. But now, i'm super glad that i was able to be a part of 3 Belian. It just gives me a wonderful memory, making me smile at just the thought of the party just now. I guess, everything in the world has its own value, even if it is the tiniest thing...

Everything that i went through with 3 Belian would be with me forever. It would not fade away even if i go somewhere far, far away. 3 Belian, you will always be remembered!! Don't you all dare forget that! :P

I LOVE YOU, 3 BELIAN!!! <3

I'm sooo nervous now. The solo recital is just in a few hours time. I don't feel really good already. Butterflies in my stomach. :/ and all of them are going to watch -- caryl, yenni, Qian Yi and mei ting. Sometimes I wonder, whydid I even invite them to go watch me sing solo. It makes me so pressured and extra nervous. And it's as if singing solo isn't bad enough, I still invited 4 of them. And they're going. Arghhh!!! :/

Lots of things happened recently. Dunno how to spill it out. I told Qian Yi everything already. She's not mad or anything. Instead i think this actually made us become even closer. And if you tnk of it from the bright side, it is a good thing. :)

My feelings are a serious mess now. I wonder how I'm going to get it back to normal. Oh well, I guess I'll just let it get back to normal by itself. Every now and then, i would always tell myself that everything happens for a reason. :)

PS Caryl, Yenni -- if you two are going to ask me what's going on or whatever, save your breathe. Cause I would tell you when i want you to know. And I think that now isnt exactly the best time.. Alright?? :)

This week is the happiest week of my life! :D

PMR was just over just tuesday. I went to 1 Utama right after the last paper with caryl, yenni, qian yi, meiting, jiexi, desirene, joleng, yokie and vivien. It was really nice. We celebrated vivien's birtthday and watched Johny English: Reborn. The movie was a really nice way to start the mood for after PMR.

I took off my braces today! Yay! :D It's like finally after 4 years. Caryl and qianyi kept saying that i won't take my braces off today and said that i would have it for life. Welll, in their face! Haha. But now it feels kinda weird not having braces. It's like something's missing.

I'M GOING TO 2PM'S CONCERT!!! :D it's about one month plus til the concert, but i'm soooo excited already. I'm going to see nick khun. :D I just can't wait til the concert. My first concert!

Though it has just been a few days since PMR finished, i'm aleady kinda lost. There's like nothing to do at home. I guess this what happens after you've studied too much. haha.

So it's another 2 weeks til PMR. I've been skipping school for two days already. Well, on the excuse to study. I was really, really focused yesterday. But not today. So yeah... Better get back to studying... :)

Missing cheer...♥

It's only been 2 days since the cheer competition. Somehow, it seems like it's been a pretty long time. I already miss cheer so much. It feels like my life's incomplete without it...

I wonder how the rest of the year is gonna be like. Cheer has became one of the most important things in life. Cheer used to stand places lower than wherever dance is in my heart. Cheer just earned a better place. Cause now, both dance and cheer stand at the same place in my heart...

I think my life is gonna be pretty boring after this. There would be no more cheer or dance. All there would be is studying for pmr. So now, instead of hardcore cheer practice, i think i should have hardcore studying...

there are things that i bottle up in my heart and i have my own reasons... ♥

Cheer... ♥

Today was one of the most exciting days i have ever had. It was Sports Day. And also the last day of cheer. :( But it rained, so it's still not the last day of cheer...

I used to wish that Sports Day was soon so that cheer would quickly end. But now, it's different. I wish that i could turn back the time that slipped through our fingers just like sand. Just so i could live through the moments we had together over again.

I would treasure every moment we shared, good or bad. Whether it was carmen and jia yi scolding us, or us laughing away together, i would always remember it...

I would remember those times cause those were the times i had the time of my life. I thank you all for being in such a wonderful time of my life. :D

"Win or lose, all of you are winners, in my eyes..." - Arief
"Let's just do this and have fun!" - Cwen Yi

I love you all... ♥

The highlight of my holidays...

Genting was just awesome! Pure awesome and nothing else. It was definitely the best outing i ever had with Caryl, Yenni, Mei ting and Qian yi. Yesterday was wonderful. i have never went on a roller coaster for 15 years of my life. And i just went on it yesterday. It was scary and awesome. (i feel like yenni... :P)

Snow world was really great, too. Snow, snow and snow. we all went on the slide thingy and ouch! my butt hurts. It was totally fun. How i wish it could last longer or even reverse the time to live through yesterday over and over again. :)

I would always remember this day... <3

Exams are finally over! But i don't think i'm gonna do well for it. Everything was last-minute... i didn't even managed to finish studying everything for certain subjects. :/

So, yeah, now it's holidays... It's quite enjoyable, except that i have to finish up my sejarah project. BORING!!! I'm going to Cherating tomorrow. I'm sooooooo excited. My plan there is to play, watch sunrise and sunset. :D

Gotta go now. Need to have lunch and watch 'Titanic'... :D

I guess it's gonna pretty boring at school tomorrow... Caryl and Yenni are not going to school so they can study. Well, exam's next week so i'm not that surprised... it's just that we hardly even talked face-to-face this week (i mean yenni, not caryl). I'm going to school everyday :( i wish that i could skip, too... Cause i don't think that i have enough time to study anymore. There are soooo many topics to study and i have no idea which to study first. So, in the end, i only studied a tiny little bit of everything... :/

EXAM'S NEXT WEEK! EXAM'S NEXT WEEK! EXAM'S NEXT WEEK!

I have to keep telling myself that so that i actually start panicking about it. But, seems like it doesn't work. I'm still so relaxed and i even have the time to blog and text and call... I'm so gonna fail my exams this time. And my parents are gonna kill me...

I don't really know why but it's like i'm so not in the mood to study. i can just open up my book, read it, and nothing goes into my brain. It's just sooo hard to concentrate... Focus! Focus! Focus! (learned this from Caryl :P)

Well, i guess i better go now...

Wow, i haven't been updating my blog for a whole month. I guess i was just too busy...

Well, 3 days of holiday is ending soon and i have not even touched my books. Exams are in about two weeks time and i can still play around all day long. I didn't do anything on saturday cause i wasn't in the mood. And i went to watch MPO with caryl at night and it finished so late i reached home at 12 something.

Sunday morning, me, my dad, sister and cousin went to Bukit Gasing for hiking. I was so tired. We even went for karaoke in the afternoon and durian for dinner. Today, we went to Batu Caves and nothing else. But i seriously got no mood to study. I guess it's partly because my mom isn't around. She's at Singapore with my youngest sister. I was hoping that i could go, too.

My mom's coming back tonight. So we gotta make sure the house isn't a mess or she'll be nagging us... Gotta go!! :)

It's not april yet (well just another week) and i'm so busy already. IU Day and MAC are both in april and just one week apart. And there are two totally different types of dances. The dance for MAC isn't choreographed and so is the dance for IU Day.

Talking about IU Day, did you ever know how hard it is to find guys to dance? I always thought it was really easy, especially when the dance is a modern one. But i guess it isn't that way. Guys nowadays are like so shy. You ask them to come perform and they tell you that they don't want to because they are 'paiseh'. Sigh... i thought guys are supposed to be man.

Today was the first meeting for the IU Day performance. And two hours just went by just like that. We hardly even did anything. We're having another meeting this weekend but i can't go cause i need to attend my sister's concert... Oh well, i'm actually also quite lazy. :P

Sigh... Holiday's gonna end tomorrow. I'm actually ok with that. It's just that i feel like i haven't actually done anything during the holidays... All i ever did was watch tv, i guess. I didn't even really study.

Oh well... i can't reverse the time. So i guess i'll just have to finish off my stuff before school starts...

I think i'm gonna be really sick of projects from this week on. I'm already sick of it now... There's civic project, sejarah project and geography project. I haven't really started on anything except civic yet, but i'm already so sick of it. :(

And OMG! The dance performance is soooo soon. And we still got nothing. NOTHING!! I'm getting really panicked... We haven't even found costumes. I really hope a miracle happens and everything is perfect, just like last year. Oh well... nobody's perfect.

I don't know why but i'm in a really bad mood now... It's like the bad mood just took over me all of a sudden. And i seriously have no idea why. Isn't that weird? This kind of think usually don't happen to me unless i'm really mad or frustrated with something...

Well, it's been some time since i posted anything on my blog. I don't know why but nowadays i hardly have the mood to do anything. I just feel like lying down all day without doing or worrying about anything.

Earlier, i was really worried that my mom found out that i was a flyer. And, yeah, she did find out in the end. I have no idea how but she found out alright... So now i'm not a flyer but a base. And quite surprised with myself, i actually told my mom myself. She said that if i'm not comfortable with it then i should quit. That's all! That was like so unbelieveble...

So that was cheer. Now dance worries me... we're starting our practice session tomorrow and we have not choreographed anything at all. And the performance is so soon. Sigh...

I hope that everything would turn out great in the end... :)

I just got scolded by my mom. Ok, i know that it was wrong not to tell her earlier that i was actually going for house cheer practice and not for PPR. But it's just so hard to tell her cause this is the kind of thing i get if i told her.

She keeps saying that PPR is way more important than house cheer. Well, that's just the way she thinks. Doesn't she ever care about what i think. I mean, to me, cheer is more important cause i'm the only form 3 and therefore i stand a higher chance of getting a post. PPR is less important to me. I'm not saying it's not important, just less. Well, i doubt i even stand a chance getting a post.

Urgh... I just really hope she understands... And, she keeps thinking that i join cheer because caryl and yenni joined their house cheer. I actually wanted to join cheer since the first meeting but there wasn't any form 3's so i didn't dare. I still joined in the end...

So today i had cheer practice. I'm so exhausted now. I'm the flyer!! And i have to admit it is pretty hard... I have to do push-ups everyday. I feel so excited... I just can't wait until i can really "fly"... :P

Since there are so many practices, i have to study really hard cause i'm having PMR this year...

The second week of school is over already. I joined house cheer. I'm really excited but i feel like i just joined Dynamitez. We have to practice thrice a week. This means that i would have to work a lot harder cause i'm gonna have less time to study and revise my work. Sigh... It's gonna be pretty tough days when cheer practice starts next week..

Though i really want to excel not only in my studies but also my curriculum activities. I really hope that Encik Khairul will give us approval to do the dance team...

The first week of school was really rough. It was totally not what i expected. I expected things to be really smooth like last year. It would have been great then.

I wanted to join Nostalgia this year in the production department. But i was not selected. :(  Then, me, Caryl and Yenni wanted to form a dance team. Although the response was really great, we couldn't make it til the end. We weren't able to get approval from the school. So we have no other choice but to wait til next year to try again. We were all really disappointed. Oh well, it's just something we can't change. So we just gotta live with it...

But somehow, i have the sort of feeling that this year is not ganna be as great as last year. Though i really, really hope that it would be equally as great. Or even better.

I'm going back to school tomorrow. I'm really, really excited! Maybe it's cause the holidays are quite boring and i can't wait to see my friends again.

I'm in 3 Belian this year. It's a chinese class. I don't really like it but it's not like i can change my class as i like. I wonder who's in the same class. I didn't get to check my class myself so i only know a few people who are in the same class. Luckily Caryl's in the same class. :)

Ohmygosh... I'm just so excited!!!

Happy new year! It's 2011 already! I hope that all my friends and family had a great 2010 and will have a wonderful year ahead og them!

Yesterday was the last day of year 2010 -- my best year. Time flies! I do hope that this year will be an even greater year.

Me and my friends will be going back to school the day after tomorrow. I'm sooo excited! I just can't wait to meet my friends again!

:D

I just came back from my trip to Penang and Alor Star yesterday evening. The trip was okay. I spent 3 nights at Penang and 1 night at Alor Star. And that was like the first time we spent the night there in years. Though i was at Penang for 3 days, i still feel like it's not enough.

And i noticed that my cousins on my mom's side are really tall. Even Wei Min is already taller than me and he is younger. I feel so small all of a sudden! Urgh... I really need to grow taller cause my sister's already my height and she's gonna be taller soon. And i think that it looks quite bad if your younger sister is taller than you.

I'm kinda disappointed now. There weren't any bus tickets for the same coach as my cousin. And my parents won't let me take a bus myself. So i guess i'll be celebrating Christmas at Penang... :(

Yesterday during dinner, my parents suddenly asked me whether i wanna go to Singapore or Penang for Christmas. It was really hard to decide cause i wanted to go to both places... My cousin asked me to go to Singapore with her since i'll be going back to Penang during Chinese New Year which is not very long from now. Plus i have not been to Singapore. But if there are no more bus tickets to come back to kl then i'm not going to Singapore. I really hope that there are bus tickets...

My uncle and his family is here already. I'm so glad cause when thay're here we'll just be walking around all day long. They'll be going back to Singapore on Christmas Eve. So if i'm able to get bus tickets then i'll be following them back together with my cousin.

Oh my gosh, i'm just so excited!!

I really hope that there are bus tickets cause i really, really wanna go to Singapore!!

Home alone...

Yay! I'm home alone today. It''s quite nice but it's kinda bored cause there's nobody else with you. Plus there's nothing much to do so i didn't really do anything today...

I'm just waiting for my cousin to come back home for dinner. Just watching the making of 'Boys Over Flowers' during the mean time since my cousin said it's really funny...

Well, i'm gonna watch my youngest sister perform on tv tonight. I watched her last night but i'm still gonna watch it again. Just too bad i can only be home alone for today only. I wish it would last longer...

The holidays are really starting to get more enjoyable. I guess it's cause my mom's not around most of the time since last week. It's not that i wanna get rid of her but it's cause she nags a lot. I took an afternoon nap that day and she thought that i was watching korean dramas till late at night. Although that was true, i denied as i didn't want to get my cousin in trouble.

Since last week, i've been watching 'Boys Over Flowers' every night till 3am. It's really awesome and romantic. Kim Bum and Lee Min Ho are just sooo hot! And i just love this show so much! Since both my parents are not gonna be home tonight, i guess i'll watch it tonight again.

Watching 'Boys Over Flowers' when my dad's around is totally fine. He doesn't mind as long as i don't watch till too late. Unlike my mom, me and my cousin just can't risk letting her know that we watch. Sometimes i just wish that i can do everything without hiding it away from my parents. It makes me feel bad cause i feel like i;m doing something bad...

Frustrated...

I just can't stand it anymore. I mean, everything that i really love to do is just so obvious. So why does she always go against me doing them? I really, really want to know. She always use the excuse that it's wasting my time and it doesn't give me any benefits. But it may not be that way to me. To me, it's totally different cause doing these things are just what i love. Why doesn't she get it? I'm just so frustrated now...

So frustrated cause she doesn't understand how i feel and everything. She wants me to do the things i don't like, but doesn't want me to do the things i like. Is everyone's life like that? Cause i really hope that i'm not the only one with these type of feelings...

I'm just so frustrated that i just like to be alone most of the time...

Bored...

It's just so boring staying at home during the holidays. At least both my sisters have their friends over for the whole afternoon today. Both of them are so occupied that i'm kinda abandoned. I'm left alone here blogging...

I wished that Caryl or Yenni actually stayed nearby so that we could hangout anytime we wanted to... Although i just saw them yesterday, i feel like it's so long since i saw them. I'm just so bored without you girls...

I'm so bored that i don't even have the mood to do the things i've always loved. My mom keeps wanting me to start studying cause PMR is next year. She tells me that i don't have a lot of time left to study so i have to use my time wisely and not waste my time like this. Sigh...

* time flies when you're having fun and even when you're not having fun

Nothing...

2 Angsana '10 class outing is over. So it's back to boring holidays again. The class outing was like the only thing i was so looking forward to. But now that it's over, i got nothing to look forward to. This makes me feel so lifeless.

Since when the holidays was supposed to be this boring? And why does it have to be like this? Can't there be something extraordinary during the holidays? I mean, the holidays are supposed to be really fun and exciting. When we were younger, there were lots of things to do during the holidays. Does this mean that there are less things to do as we grow older?

We always wanted the holidays to come when we were at school. But during the holidays we tend to want to go back to school. Isn't this just weird?

I just really hope that there's something for me to look forward to...

The best day in year 2010...

Last Friday, 12th of November, was the best day in the year. It was the last day of school and it ended my school year with my birthday.

My best friends, Caryl, Yen Ni, Mei Ting, Qian Yi, Yoong Wei and my classmates celebrated my birthday for me. And i admit that it was the best birthday celebration i ever had. Although i did suspect something, but i was totally surprised... and blur!! Caryl, Yen Ni and Mei Ting baked lots of chocolate cupcakes for me, my classmates and some of the teachers. They were so thoughtful... and really sweet.

Although i'm very happy about my birthday, i just realised that i would really, really miss 2 Angsana '10. This was the best class i've ever been in. It's way better than Form 1. I feel like we're a very special family...

I never talked as much as i do with Caryl, Yen Ni, Qian Yi and Yoong Wei. I also never talked to teachers.. But this year was so different... I was way different compared to previous years... 2 Angsana '10 is something really great to me, i had many friends there and got to learn lots... I learnt how to appreciate everything i was able to have like my friends, my classmates and my teachers.

I remember when i started Form 2, i didn't like it cause i didn't really know anyone in the class. And i didn't like the teachers. I actually thought that it was gonna be my worst year ever... However, towards the end of the year, i found that my classmates and all the teachers were just AWESOME!! I should have been more open and maybe this year might be even more memorable...

I would remember my 14th birthday forever for it truly was my best day in the year!!

Thank you 2 Angsana '10 for all these wonderful memories!!!